This is Employment Law Axiom No. 1: 5% of Employees Cause 95% of the Problems

There’s a lot packed into this foundational truth. (First, I’ll say that it’s not scientific. I don’t really know the actual percentages. But I do know that a small percentage of folks in the workforce occupy a bigly disproportionate amount of management’s time.)

Of course, these 5%’ers (as we’ll call them) are your poor performers. They’re not as good at their jobs and they are not as productive. They are late more often and they’re frequently difficult to find late in the day, especially towards the end of the week.  They generate customer complaints. They use more of their manager’s time coaching and cleaning up their mistakes. That’s bad enough.

But 5%’ers make it worse because they’re at the same time unaware of their shortcomings AND grossly overestimate their abilities.  They often ask for raises or promotions around the time you’re getting ready to terminate them.  Are they receptive to feedback? Of course not, and they generally try to blame you for whatever they’re messing up.  They own none of what they do.

They’re also really sensitive and take themselves very seriously. They have difficulty seeing the humor in things and love playing the victim. They seem to look for ways to be offended and their entitlement mentality permeates every conversation.  To say they lack self-awareness or that they fail to realize how they’re perceived in the world is to say water is wet.  They simply don’t get it.  The exception to their abysmal self-knowledge is their seemingly inherent ability to effortlessly rattle off a list of physical, mental, and emotional hardships that limit their ability to do what you’re asking. They’re not popular in the office. They probably microwave fish, leave dishes in the sink, wear too much perfume, or no deodorant at all.  They like to talk about “their truth”.  They are not team players and are really good at not doing much, as well as taking credit for others’ work.  Excuses abound.

5%’ers have terrible luck. Lots of flat tires, dead car batteries, sick pets, dying grandparents, and broken alarm clocks. Their driveways somehow ice over first and thaw out last, so they miss the frontside and backside of every winter weather event.  Rain and traffic seem to adversely affect their commute times more than everyone else’s, which is perhaps why they’re most likely to express the “need” to work from home.  They lose emails and never get the memo.

They complain a lot. They’re never satisfied and often grumpy.  They’re indignant and condescending. Their problems are all external and negativity rules the day.  Sometimes they’re conniving and malevolent, but often they’re just selfish and oblivious to how they affect others.

Am I painting an effective picture?

Two very important points.  First, 5%er’s are not confined to any demographic.  Each race, generation, gender, ethnicity, religion, etc. is well represented in the cast of 5%’ers I’ve come across.  If you think a particular protected characteristic makes it more likely that someone is a 5%’er, I’ll note that your bigoted mindset is another one of the hallmarks of a 5%er, so look in the mirror.  Beware of single-cause interpretations.

Second, sometimes 5%’ers are indeed intentional and malevolent. Those nasty characters have figured out how to play the game and think they know their way to effortless settlement and severance checks.  They’ll tee you up, come in hard with a lawyer you recognize from the side of a bus, make you really unhappy, and ruin your P&L. 

But keep in mind that some 5%er’s are simply hapless.  They don’t mean to be incompetent and may try hard.  They may be nice and you may like them.  But that doesn’t excuse the reality that they’re thoughtless in most senses of the word. And it doesn’t change the facts that they cost you money, cause you headaches or make their co-workers’ lives harder.  And it doesn’t change the fact that it’s your responsibility to deal with them.  Their ineptitude may not be their fault, but it’s not yours or your other employees’, either, and you guys shouldn’t have to pay the price.

As the portrait of the archetypal 5%’er comes into focus, I hope you’re connecting our generic description of a hypothetical deadbeat to the actual 5%’er(s) in your company.  My bet is you have at least one.  And if you have one, I’m confident you’ll have more than one sooner rather than later.

In any event, it’s not surprising that so many businesses focus so much attention on the 5%. In some ways it’s necessary – we have to attend to them, ameliorate their dysfunction, and correct their disruption.  Our companies (and sanity) depend upon it.

But I encourage you to look at it from a different perspective.  One that my two decades of employment law lawyering demonstrates will provide a faster ROI than what a more conventional-minded HR approach will tell you. 

You see, 5%er’s are, in my experience, intractable. They’re a 5%’er for you, they were a 5%’er at their last employer, and they will be a 5%’er at their next job.  You can try to coach or cajole.  You can try a performance improvement plan, but PIP’s only work with someone who wants to, and can, get better.  5%’ers aren’t that someone. 

So once you identify a 5%’er in your midst, the sooner you can help them find their next opportunity with another employer, the happier everyone in your group will be. Your life will get easier and, because no one likes working with assholes, the 5%’er’s co-workers will be pleased, as well.

To make this process easier, I encourage you to focus more intently on your 95%’ers – the folks who show up, do what they’re supposed to, and go home.  They’re the people who make your life easier.  They’re the people who make your clients happy.  They’re the people who make you money.  So instead of spending time, effort, and resources on a handful of employees who drive you crazy, why not do what you can to make the other employees’ jobs smoother? You can start by shedding your 5% asap.