Don’t Be a Victim

I thought running a professional service firm would get easier over time. Eighteen years later, I’m still waiting for that day.

Daily obstacles never stop coming:

• Missing flights when clients need you most
• Losing big clients without enough pipeline to replace them
• Signing contracts only to learn the client got fired
• Facing shutdowns during pandemics
• Dealing with hurricanes and natural disasters
• Handling personal crises during client emergencies

Sound familiar? This was literally my last week.

Since obstacles aren’t going anywhere, we built a team mindset: don’t be a victim.

What Is Victim Mindset?

A victim mindset means believing you have no control. People with this mindset give up fast. They blame circumstances instead of finding solutions.

This leads to poor outcomes every time.

Our Anti-Victim Culture

We decided to build the opposite culture. Here’s exactly how we did it:

1. Change the Language

We taught our team new questions:

• Old question: “What’s happening to me?”
• New question: “What can I control?”

We also created a simple rule: No problem without a solution. Every issue must come with at least one proposed fix.

2. Build Better Structure

We set up clear steps before anyone can escalate problems:

• Try three different solutions first
• Understand what didn’t work and why
• Only then ask for help

We also hold weekly “lessons learned” meetings. The focus? What we’ll do differently next time. Not what went wrong.

Every team member now has clear decision-making power. No more “waiting for permission” excuses.

3. Give Practical Tools

We don’t just preach mindset. We teach specific skills:

• How to rebook flights during delays
• Scripts for difficult client conversations
• Backup plans for common problems
• Emergency contact lists and procedures

Real tools for real problems.

4. Reward the Right Behavior

Performance reviews now focus on problem-solving stories. We celebrate team members who find creative solutions under pressure. We share these success stories company-wide. When someone turns a disaster into a win, everyone hears about it.

Setbacks become learning labs, not blame sessions.

The Results

Something interesting happened. Daily obstacles stopped feeling overwhelming. My team now helps each other stay focused on solutions. When someone gets stuck in victim mode, others remind them: “We took one step back, but we’re taking two steps forward.”

The obstacles didn’t disappear. Our response to them completely changed.

Why This Matters

Most professional service firms focus on preventing problems. We focused on building people who solve them. You can’t control flight delays or client firings. You can control how your team responds.

The difference between victim mindset and ownership mindset isn’t just philosophical. It’s profitable. Teams that solve problems fast serve clients better. They close more deals. They keep more relationships intact during crises.

Your Next Step

Pick one area where your team defaults to victim thinking. Maybe it’s technology problems. Maybe it’s difficult clients. Start there. Change the language. Build the structure. Give them tools.

Watch what happens when smart people stop asking “Why me?” and start asking “What now?”

The obstacles won’t stop coming. But your team will stop being victims to them.